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Sweetdreams...

[ website | * Poetic Dreamer * ]
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[09 Mar 2007|03:45am]
She sits alone by a lamppost
Trying to find a thought thats escaped her mind
She says dads the one I love the most
But stipes not far behind

She never lets me in
Only tell me wheres shes been
When shes had too much to drink
I say that I dont care I just run my hands
Through her dark hair and then I pray to god
You gotta help me fly away

And just...
Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

This morning I woke up alone
Found a note by the phone
Saying maybe, maybe Ill be back some day
I wanted to look for you
You walked in I didnt know just what I should do
So I sat back down and had a beer and felt sorry for
Myself.

Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

-solo-

Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

Last night I tried to leave
Cried so much I just
Could not believe
She was the same girl i
Fell in love with long ago
She went in the back to
Get high
I sat down on my couch
And cried
Yelling oh mama please
Help me
Wont you hold my hand.

And
Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.
Wait for me in the rain

catchin up [21 Feb 2007|04:37am]
So wheres life been takin me lately that i dont know.  Lessons learned friends come and go but me im always here .. and boys just make me wonder whats really going on in there head.  So ive been pretty happy lately just with myself a few minor adjustments but im right where i should be.  Went back to school this semseter and i am oh so very scared im gonna fail i just wish i knew what it took .. cause i dont think i do i get the whole work thing .. in fact i work my ass off and i kno i can do that just dont kno if i can handle the school thing but waitressin is not a forever job hopefully .. friends are pretty good goin out alot on weekends who knew id be the girl they all go to for something to do .. for the most i love em all .. boys ahhahahhah yah prettty much that it seems that everyone wants me but the one which i must admit is confusin as hell .. but there is a boy yes another JAY which has been throwing me throuh a loop since november .. for awhile i didnt kno what to think and was just having fun and didnt think it would last but lately he calls and my hands shake he smiles and my heart skips a beat makes stupid jokes and i laugh knowing there not funny but mostly just amazed that thinkin about he makes me smile and my heart stop and beat fast all in one.  Mostly scared though dont wanna lose him so dont want to get to close to him .. we soo i dunno just chillen i guess hes hard to read i think hes scared to love .. typical soilder proud to be him .. pretty much i think he is amazing just wish i could read him .. but if i could maybe then my heart wouldnt skip would it.  

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Wait for me in the rain

[01 May 2006|02:54am]
[ mood | crushed ]

Where am i now a days .. feels like im all over the place. Everytime i think something good is going to happen, it never does! In fact it comes back twice as hard and hurts more than ever. So once again i say it a day with me and you'll realize who your true love is!! No word of a lie thats the last hmm EVERY guy i have been with actually happened. All happy in their little fairy tale lives and theres me. same ol me new people every week no better than the ones before! It sucks cause im 20 years old and still wondering what the fuck im doing with my life .. but i go on with a smile of course cause what else is there to do .. Maybe i should jsut go away next year leave everything behind and try not to look back .. It just kills me i dont know what im doing wrong .. i feel like im going at it the right way and well im wrong. Is it bad to wanna go back .. yes but i wish it wasnt i miss the simple days the days that made me smile .. its sad i miss Last summer and last year, but dont look back move on and make these days better i just need stability and to stop picking the fucking assholes .. but i cant help it im a bum magnet i am . nalyne you can now find me a man im moving to boston with you and your in charge!! got me!

1 Waited Wait for me in the rain

Just felt like letting it out [20 Apr 2006|12:53am]
So here i am still with my scars from him and making new ones as i go .. You think things get easier with time and usually yes.. but things like rejection and heart break will always feel the same. Some easier than other, but always that feeling that takes over your body and right then and there breaks your heart. Its hard wanting to fall and at the same time being so scared. But it seems with my luck the second i let that wall down just a bit, i get killed. Not the nice and easy way but so it hurts and it lasts. Ive declared that i am everyone elses good luck charm but my own .. date me for a day and you'll prolly find the love of your life in someone else. Trust me it happens. But still with all the crazy new things happening in my life, i feel like a need a rock, someone to keep me stable. But why do i always look to the past? I miss him so much . I dont think its healthy to see the one who shredded your heart 3 times a week. Im kind of proud of myself for actually still working there, even though once and a while i look at him and smile and think of the past. But i say i cant go back so i make a joke and go on with my day happy as can be.

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Wait for me in the rain

[13 Dec 2005|04:30am]
How many times do you have to do this to me. I get so angry and i wish i could just tell you off everything that builds up inside i wanna let it out and make you fell the pain. I think your heartless and i wish you would just forget about me.


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Wait for me in the rain

every now and then ,,, [09 Nov 2005|10:56pm]
What to say ... hmm well another semester wasted at school and another big battle with myself of what i wanna do with my life. Im going to the bahamas in a week, i wasnt really sure if i wanted to go and still doubting the choice but i probally would have gotten killed by kristen if she had to go on the plane alone. I really wanna quit my job, but i have so many bills and depend on that job, i hate that i have to depend on that place. Nothing good has come from there and once i get out .. maybe things will change. So i went to see a phychic about a month ago, sounds corny but i believe in that stuff. She told me alot about my broken heart but also gave me hope for the future. I think ive been losing that hope lately not really beliving much in faith and i hate doubting that because thats what life is all about. I dont know why i keep thinking about that past and all the mistakes ive made. The good thoghts make me happy, then sad and i think of all the bad part and get mad but then regretfull, then no choice to move on and forget about the mistakes and maybe learn from them .. hopefully.


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2 Waited Wait for me in the rain

[04 Nov 2005|03:21pm]
i hate that i can look back on life and realize i miss what i had. I hate that one picture can bring a tear to my eye .. and i hate that no one understands. Some days i just look around and wonder what the hell happened .. no one to trust ... no one.

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1 Waited Wait for me in the rain

[17 Oct 2005|02:53pm]
I wish i could say this to your face but i cant .. i hate you and wish you were never part of my life. Nothing good came out of you and i cant belived how fooled i was by you. You and all thoes low lifes need to get a life. Quit your little games, its not my fault your fucking hooked on drugs and have no future im pretty sure you picked that life. so fuck you and get the hell out of mine.

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Wait for me in the rain

life is hard [13 Oct 2005|11:38pm]
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So i havent wrote in my journal in forever, and now i dont know what to write about anymore. Not saying nothings happened in my life but honestly i dont know where to start. I think the last time i wrote in here is when i was with jason or just breaking up with him. Which truthfully i dont know what was harder being with him or breaking up with him. Its weird cause most days i miss him and then others i feel everything happened exactely how it was supposed to.So besides losing him i feel like i have lost a few good friends also. I love sarah with all my heart but lately i dont know what are friendship is .. and its hard to doubt the people that you trust. I miss alot of my old friends and how things use to be, but also i feel things are gonna get better for me. So ive been single since jason havent even really dated mostly scared. I keep saying some great guy is gonna come into my life, but then i think of having another boyfriend and i get scared outta my mind. I think im getting a crush but then i guess im probally lonely and then im like how can you trust him and then back to square one .. not letting then in. one day at a time .. i guess i gotta take it one day at a time.


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Wait for me in the rain

[11 Aug 2005|03:16am]
Every day i have the same thoughts ... i feel the same pain .. i wish for the ssame dreams .. and every day dissapointed. I dont know what to think anymore.My birthday is coming up .. i have nothing .. i think 18 was a really bad year for me everything about it from the way it started to how its gonna end. I hate the fake front i put on with him the one that makes everyr one believe im alright when all i wanna do is hate him and then love him ... but mostly i convince myslef to hate him. hate hate hate mayeb the only way i can get through this never ending hell. mayeb i should have know better the first time.


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2 Waited Wait for me in the rain

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